A new boy who fits the mold but gives very awkward hugs

This is all going to become very ironic if I started a blog called the very worst single girl and suddenly I am good at dating.

I met someone last Friday via eHarmony. We got through the guided communication in about 10 minutes flat. Then started the open communication which got pretty lengthy. Then came talking on the phone. We had a phone date on Monday and ended up chatting for over an hour and a half. Pretty good for someone I have never met. He knows people I know. He grew up going to church with my closest guy friend. Perhaps the man who I don't share any blood with that I love the most. Instant point. Last night we got dinner. His name is Brian. We went to a Brazilian restaurant. We took forever deciding what we were going to eat because we were talking. We took forever eating because we were talking. We sat there at the table with no food in front of us for over an an hour because we were still talking.

He is smart and ambitious and all those things that I say I want. He is cuter then I thought he was. Apparently he is cuter in person then online. I caught myself all night wondering about my face. It's weird to have someone look at your face for that long. He would tell me stories and I would wonder what my expression looked like. He loves Jesus. He has interesting stories and things to say. He asks good questions and cares to know about the things that I love.

We had great conversation and then leaving the restaurant was somehow super awkward. It's as if he got really nervous. I am a hugger. I hug everyone. With some of my male friends, the side hug is appropriate but I will be honest in that I prefer then full body embrace. I hope this was just a "this is a first date and I am nervous" hug and not how he always hugs. Our table was big and so there was no chance of any physical contact during dinner. The only physical contact was when we hugged when I got there and then when I left. It was such a great date followed by a half hug. The second hug wasn't exactly a side hug but not really a real hug either. His friend who is my really close friend is a hugger. He is more of a hugger then I am a hugger. Literally the first thing I ever said to him was "Omgosh you hug". Previous to the awkward date hug my last hug was from this friend who his version of hugging me was first pretending the refuse to hug me and then pick my up and twirl me around only to place me on the ground and give me a a full real hug. We have been friends for four years and there is obviously a level of comfortability with him that just won't be there with someone who I only just met but it was still a drastic difference.

I am now waiting. Waiting to hear about if there was indeed as much interest on his side as I hope and think there is. I talked to my friend Ivan last night and Ivan told me that I am not allowed to text this guy thanking him for dinner and that I shouldn't expect to hear from him until tomorrow for the standard 2 day rule. My response was the 2 day rule is stupid. If you like someone then let them know that you like them. I have a final tomorrow which he knows. I am going out of town for a week starting on Sunday which he knows. I am ready for him to call. Patience isn't one of the things God built into me.

19 inches

Tonight eharmony sent me an email to be the first to meet Andrew. I go to look at his profile and it all looks good and pleasant until I check out his height. He is 6'7. For some girls that is awesome. For me, that is 19 inches. 19. No thank you. I would like to not feel like a toddler next to the person I am dating.

Entering the cougars den

Three years ago I spent some time in the cougars den. He was almost three years younger then me. It was nothing I expected to happen but it did. I fell hard. Harder then I have fell for anybody. I never expected to like him. I never expected him to like me. But we did. I was 21, he was 18. It was sort of a big deal and ultimately the thing that ended us. Knowing what I know now, there would have been other things that would have ended us even if age weren't a factor but age was the thing that gave us an earlier death then we may have had otherwise.

Post him, I have been very turned off to the idea of a younger guy. I could date someone 10 years older then he is but not someone 2 years younger then me.

Then there is this guy who has been in and out of my thoughts for the past week or so. He is twenty. Not almost twenty one. Freshly twenty. I am twenty-four-and-a-half.

Chemistry is such an interesting thing. How I might not even realize I am attracted to someone but I find myself wanting to be beside them. Lets call this boy....Simba.

He is new on staff at the camp where I spent 4 summers on staff and sometime work at currently. We were in line waiting to get lunch and he was funny. He asked if I would join him for lunch and then I did. Eating lunch with families can be really awkward. Eating lunch with families with someone you barely know can be REALLY awkward. It wasn't awkward at all. We bantered. I tricked him into thinking he was supposed to sing on stage. He believed me. He panicked. It was awesome.

The weekend continued and I noticed that his name was taking up a spot in my brain.

We went home and I got super twitter pated each time he wrote on my wall. I apparently am a big hit with the 19 year old new staff who all think I am hilarious and adorable and are smart enough to tell me so and facebook and he "likes" it and agrees and says how incredibly excited he is for me to visit. WTH? Why is a 20 year olds making me get all twitterpated? Has it gotten that bad that I have resorted to becoming twitterpated by 20 year olds? Oh dear....

The time I failed at Internet Dating

I signed up to do something about 2 or 3 weeks that I never ever imagined myself doing. I signed up for Eharmony. I have mocked internet dating in the past and maybe even called it things like "creepy and desperate". But then reality sets in. I am a 24 year old nanny trying to make a career in the fashion industry. My demographic is 8 year old girls and gay men. I don't really meet people except in passing. Maybe this could be an okay thing. So I bit the dust and for 60 dollars I got three months of the service.

3 weeks later and not a single date. People have contacted me. People who I have absolutely no physical attraction to. Or someone will contact me and then they will say something like they are fine with any schedule except someone who is really busy with a somewhat crazy schedule. That is fine but that doesn't match with me. I prefer someone with a crazy schedule because they understand why I have a crazy schedule.

There was one guy who caught my attention and we emailed back and forth. And back and forth. And back and forth. Long messages. Basically we were pen pals. And then...he got into med school in another state. Up until this point we had really good conversations and then I suggested we actually hang out and he went missing. This past weekend he sent me a message that he didn't think he should start something when he is moving out of state and that I seem a bit too reserved for him. I am a lot of things but reserved is not one of them. I wrote back a very polite email and wished him luck in life. I wrote a sentence about how ACTUALLY I am not reserved at all and that if he actually knew me then he would know that. I deleted that sentence because I didn't want to come off as crazy.

How is it that I am failing at even finding dates on the internet? I know its only been three weeks but come on?!?! There has to be someone in the world who is kind of attractive and loves Jesus and also thinks I am interesting enough to go on a date with. Sheesh.

Standards

This weekend I was sitting in a cabin at camp talking to some of the new girls on staff. Two thirds of these girls were once campers of mine causing me to feel a little bit like the old maid in the room. An hour or so into the conversation it came up that I am 24 years old and have never been kissed, nor have I ever had someone who I could refer to as my boyfriend. One of the girls asked if I ever want to get married or if I just plan on staying single my whole life. She is 18 and her intentions were very sweet but I wanted to say something along the lines of "no, bitch. I am apparently just really horrible at being pursued by men and no one worth my interest has made any real indication that they find me desirable". I didn't say that. I was very polite. We were at church camp after all and I used to be her counselor. Instead I gave the standard response that I know that Gods delights in the desires of my heart and that one day He will brings along some awesome person and how the love story He is writing for me is better then any love story I could write for myself.

I am not a terrible looking girl. I am fun to be around. I can be pretty dang charming. I take care of my body and consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I have heard that I am funny and people tend to laugh at my jokes. I make good choices. I have great friends. I love Jesus. I am learning everyday what it means to truly know Jesus. I will never fit in any political circle because I am spiritually conservative and politically liberal. I don't believe in premarital sex but I do believe that homosexual people should have the ability to have a civil union in the state of California. I voted for Barack Obama, I know....scandalous.

I do have some standards in the people I date. Maybe this is what is stopping me.

• Must love Jesus
• I have to at least be sort of physically attracted to them
• Some sort of life ambition
• They can't be super conservative
• They must have integrity

The End